


Out of my mind

by BiUnicorn



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Torture, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Post 4x22, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 09:10:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19943683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiUnicorn/pseuds/BiUnicorn
Summary: "Well now, look at you..."Lena froze in shock at hearing that voice. It couldn't be ... he was dead. Lena had guaranteed that."Surprised?" The figure stepped in front of Lena with a smug, triumphant smile. Lex positioned a little device behind Lena's ear, activating it. Lena has lost consciousness. It was as if she were trapped, watching everything around her, but couldn’t speak or move, she was trapped within her own body.Or...The one where Lena was kidnapped and controlled by Lex. Will Kara be able to save Lena and their friendship?





	Out of my mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hi folks, i'm super inspired this week, so here's another one.
> 
> I've got this idea from a HQ I saw on twitter.
> 
> Not beta'd, all mistakes are mine and let me know what you think.

At first, Lena didn't know where she was but when she saw the various monitors on the wall with the famous Luthors coat of arms, Lena was sure she was in one of Lex's hiding places. How she got there, Lena couldn't tell.

Despair gripped her body as she tried to free herself from the shackles that bound her to a metal chair fixed to the floor. 

"Well now, look at you..." 

Lena froze in shock at hearing that voice. It couldn't be ... he was dead. Lena had guaranteed that.

"Surprised?" The figure stepped in front of Lena with a smug, triumphant smile.

"This isn't real, it can't be…" Lena muttered, looking sideways, desperate.

"I have to admit, sister… I underestimated you… You really killed me and you really resisted my manipulation very well."

Lex opened his social shirt, exposing in his chest the heart of kryptonite adapted from the Cadmus project.

"See, you won't really get rid of me, Lena… now I'm practically immortal."

"You won’t get away with it!" Lena said with her jaw locked and anger in her eyes.

"Oh, Lena…" Lex positioned himself behind Lena's chair, touching her shoulder. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

-

Kara hadn’t heard of Lena since the Pulitzer, when the conversation between them was not the best. That had been two weeks ago and as much as Kara was heartbroken at Lena's actions and words, she couldn't help but care about her best friend (at least Kara hoped they were still friends). And Kara did try to give Lena the space she wanted, even though she was afraid that space might be permanent, but after two weeks of no news from Lena at Catco or LCorp, a warning sign rang in Kara's head, as if felt that something was wrong. 

And it really was. Kara hadn't been able to locate Lena in her apartment, not even hear her heartbeat, something Kara did to calm down, though she'd stopped to respect Lena's request for space.

Something was wrong and Kara needed to know what.

-

Lena twisted, panting, tears streaming down her face. Her whole body ached after two weeks at Lex's hands, suffering constant aggression. There was something different about Lex, he wasn't hesitating to hit Lena, as he had earlier. Part of that was because Lena had killed him, but he seemed more aggressive, more determined to complete his plans.

One more blow to Lena's abdomen and Lex stopped abruptly.

"I don't think you have suffered enough yet, sister... But I need your relatively intact body for the next phase..."

Lena spat blood, exhausted, and Lex put her back in the chair, handcuffed.

“See… I mentioned that you resisted my manipulations very well and it's true… You're stronger than I imagined, so I'm prepared this time.” Lex picked up a small device on the table and showed it. “But first I need to tell you the truth… And the truth is, I really tried to manipulate you when I told you about the Kryptonian… Yes, Kara Danvers is the girl of Steel, but she never hid it from you for not trusting, because you are my sister, or even for fear of putting you in danger… ”

“I mentioned that she and her friends were just using you, but the truth, sister… The truth is that they really care about you… And your best friend?” Lex broke off with an expression of disgust but still triumphant. “It wasn't hard to find out, since my experiment shared her feelings… Kara Danvers is in love with you. She loves you…” Lex slapped Lena on the face, laughing like a maniac then. “Who would’ve thought, huh? A Luthor being loved… A Super loving a Luthor…”

Lena froze at the confession, wide-eyed and gaping. Feeling a strong sense of remorse and guilt at the way she had been treating Kara, especially on the most important night of her life. Lena felt stupid for falling back into Lex's mental traps and now she didn't know what was worse: dying at his hands without the chance to face Kara once more or not dying and living with the shame of being manipulated again. But no… Lena needed to live, needed to stop Lex and needed, more than anything, to beg Kara for forgiveness.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Lex held her face tightly.

“You make me sick, sister… I know you feel the same way. And you know how wrong this is!” Lex jerked away. “You don't deserve the name you carry… But I'll take care of it… You'll, once and for all, follow the fate of the Luthors and will kill her.”

“You're insane!” Lena practically spat the words, receiving another blow in the face.

“You have no choice.” With those words, Lex positioned the little device behind Lena's ear, activating it. Lena has lost consciousness. It was as if she were trapped, watching everything around her, but couldn’t speak or move, she was trapped within her own body.

“You have one goal now: kill Supergirl.”

“Kill Supergirl.” Lena repeated automatically, without drawing any emotion.

"Great…" Lex muttered. Then he released the cuffs and adjusted a watch on Lena's wrist, activating the Lexo-suit on her body.

"Now come on, sister…" Lex said, activating his own armor. “We'll both make history.”

-

“What's that?!” Alex jumped from her chair, alert to see the Kryptonite signal on the DEO monitor. All the agents stood, attentive to the Director. At that very moment, Supergirl entered the DEO lounge, following Alex's call instantly.

“It's a huge amount of Kryptonite. And it's two points…” Alex muttered, giving Kara a worried look.

"You won't like it." Brainy stopped where he was, concentrating. “The traces of Kryptonite come from one of the places mapped as Lex Luthor's old shelter.”

“It's impossible, Lex is dead…”

“If divided by 2, Kryptonite's concentration matches what we found in Lexo-suit. My calculations indicate a 50% chance that there will be a single armor with double Kryptonite or two with the same amount as the last.”

“Lena!” Kara's eyes widened, like an epiphany. As she concentrated, she heard Lena's heartbeat, which had been out of reach two weeks ago. “Rao, she's in danger!”

Before Alex could say anything, Kara had already disappeared into the sky. 

"If my calculations are correct, such a significant amount of Kryptonite is capable of killing Kara if it comes in direct contact." Brainy stared at Alex expectantly.

“Call J'onn and Dreamer. I want you to win some time. If Lena is there, Kara will do everything to protect her. God knows how much she cares…” Alex sighed, exasperated. “I'll be right behind you with reinforcements…”

“You should stay here.” J'onn entered the DEO at that moment, in its original form. “We need you here, Director Danvers.” 

“But…”

“Kara needs you here.” 

With that, J'onn and Brainy left the DEO, finding Dreamer on the way.

-

Kara was flying at full speed when she found two figures standing at Catco’s roof. She stopped abruptly as she saw Lex Luthor, in all his glory, sitting on the edge of the building, and the second figure in a green armor straining in a fighting stance. 

“How are you alive?” Kara shouted, furious.

“Funny to ask… Your friend from another universe saved me… The Monitor.”

Kara, floating in the air, gaped. She clenched her fists but didn't move.

"Lena?!" she asked desperately, watching the armor figure.

“It's funny that you mention her, too, Supergirl…”

With the key word, the helmet's armor fell apart, displaying Lena's face. Kara felt sick, felt a surge of fury engulf her body.

“What did you do?!” Kara flew at full speed toward Lex. “You bastard!” Before she could reach his personal space, Lena flew toward her, preventing her from reaching her target. They both fell to the floor on Catco's terrace. 

"Kill Supergirl." Lena said in an almost robotic tone over Kara.

“Lena, please, it's me! Kara!” The hero begged, desperate.

“You can't stop her.” Lex stepped off the edge of the skyscraper and straightened his suit. “While I'm alive, she's stuck with me.” He opened his shirt again, boasting his Kryptonite heart. “And since I'm practically immortal… you'll have trouble getting over me, Supergirl. Now you have two options… Kill Lena or die. You have no other alternatives here.”

“I think the only one with no alternatives here is you.” Lex turned quickly toward the voice. He found himself surrounded by J'onn, Brainy and Dreamer.

"Oh, how lovely ..." He laughed. “You guys can try.”

Lena turned her attention back to Kara again, returning to her forced goal of killing Supergirl. Then she began trying to strike Kara, who, without the courage to attack her, only defended herself. The fight ended in the skies again, with Kara's laser vision clashing with the Kryptonite beam thrown by the armor Lena wore.

"Lena, please, you need to listen to me!" Kara shouted, using her cape to protect herself from another kryptonite attack.

“I need to kill Supergirl, for Lex, for the Luthors.” 

Kara activated her armor to protect her from Kryptonite, but left her face exposed.

“I can't hurt you Lena, you need to get back to me!” 

“I'll cause you the same pain you caused the Luthors!”

Lena flew quickly, punching Kara in the face. Kara tried to defend herself from the incessant blows while trying to talk to Lena.

-

"Brainy, can you hear me?"

"Positive," he replied as he gracefully dodged Lex's attacks.

“Kara said there is a strange device in Lena. Can you recognize it? ”

Brainy swerved again.

"Dreamer?" He shouted for cover. “I need a few seconds, Director Danvers.”

He stopped where he was and concentrated, while Nia shielded him from any threat and J'onn tried to physically restrain Lex.

"As I imagined…" Brainy muttered. “She's being controlled by Lex Luthor. If we can cut the link, Lena Luthor will be free, but there's a risk of permanent damage.”

“What damage?” Kara shouted, distant, and Alex simultaneously asked for the communicator. 

“Possible loss of previous memories, personality disorder, there is a 15% chance of her not returning to normal and a 10% chance of her going into a coma and not waking up anymore, getting stuck in the reality that Lex Luthor has imposed on her mind.”

“Damn it!” Kara shouted as she defended herself in the distance. “Isn't there a safe way to disable it?”

Lex, trapped by Nia's power currents, laughed hysterically. “Just over my dead body.”

“It won't be a problem, then.” J'onn hit Lex's face, which activated his armor, ridding himself of Dreamer's chains.

"I wouldn't count on that..."

-

Kara no longer had the strength to face such a powerful charge of Kryptonite from Lena's latest attempt. Kara felt weaker and weaker. If she couldn't contain Lena, she would die in the next attempt.

“Lena, if you're there, please fight!” Kara tried again. “I was a terrible friend, I'm sorry… But you need to get back to me!”

For a split second, Lena seemed to gain awareness, the real Lena, but soon the serious look returned, and Lena again advanced toward Kara. If Kara didn't defend herself, it was her end. 

"I'm sorry, Lena." Kara swallowed hard, holding Lena's attack on the way and punching her in the chest, sending her flying for meters until she collided with a building nearby. "I'm so sorry..." Kara whispered, exasperated.

-

J'onn dealt another blow in Lex, making room for Dreamer contain it again and Brainy approach.

"Do you think you can beat me?" Lex laughed. “Look at them… One will kill the other and will have to live with it. No one wins in this game. Just me.”

-

Lena soon recovered from the impact, leaving the rubble of the building. There was blood on her expressionless face. It floated in the air for a few seconds, until something like a shock hit. It was an internal struggle between the real Lena and Lex's impositions.

"Alex… something's not right…" Kara said in her communicator.

"Brainy?" Alex asked.

“Sprock!” Brainy turned her attention to Lena, who seemed to struggle with herself. “The device has been hit. She must be going through a constant change of personality.”

“How do I stop this?!” Kara asked, panting, still distant from Lena.

“The device should be turned off right now!” Brainy looked at Lex and J'onn, nodding at the Martian.

At that very moment, the Lex-controlled Lena seemed to win the internal battle, flying one last time to Kara, knocking her to the ground, pointing her arm at Kara's face as a charge of Kryptonite formed in one of the armor's exits. Kara's face revealed the highlighted green veins as the Kryptonian grew weaker, unable to move.

“L… Lena, please…” Kara begged, tears in her eyes. “I'm sorry, come back to me.”

Lena's internal battle became evident again, with the young CEO speaking rambunctious phrases, as if with every passing second, Lex tried to dominate Lena's mind as she struggled.

"Kara?!" Lena shouted, then returned with a serious expression. “Kill… Supergirl…” “Please…” “Kill…” “Stop me, Kara!”

“Lena! Look at me!” Kara whispered, almost losing consciousness.

Lena locked her gaze with Kara's, still with her fist clenched, pointed at Kara's face.

“I'm so sorry for lying.”

“I forgive you.”

“Then I'll die happy.”

“W… why?” Lena managed to say, before completely losing consciousness again.

-

Brainy hacked into Lex's armor, Nia pinned him with her chains and J'onn positioned in front, with a straight face. 

“It's your ultimate end, Lex Luthor.”

With that, J'onn grabbed Lex's Kryptonite heart, yanking it out. Lex fell lifeless in the same second.

-

Accepting the fact that it was the end, Supergirl closed her eyes, waiting for the discharge of Kryptonite in her weak body. But the pain never came. She opened her eyes a few seconds later, finding a shocked Lena on top of her body, her hands open, supporting her on the floor.

"W… Why would I kill the woman I love?" Lena muttered before collapsing onto Kara's chest.

Kara let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, wrapping her arms around Lena, sobbing.

"Rao…" Kara whispered, unable to move at that moment.

“Supergirl?” Alex's voice pulled Kara out of her daze.

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?!”

Kara moved to her feet, carrying Lena in her arms.

“Prepare a stretcher, I'm coming with Lena.”

Kara nodded to J'onn and left the place, carrying Lena.

-

Kara entered the DEO, rushing to put Lena on the stretcher. Alex approached, gripping Lena's wrist, trying to deactivate the armor. When she did, Kara and Alex froze at the sight.

"Did I… I did that?" Kara whispered, shaking frantically as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Kara, no!” Alex knelt beside Kara, who was on the ground about to have a panic attack. DEO's medical team took Lena out of there and Alex was trying to bring Kara back to reality. “You didn't do anything, Kara… It was Lex.”

Kara sobbed in Alex's arms, desperate.

“I hurt her, Alex!”

“Shh…. It was Lex…” Alex whispered in Kara's ear, trying to calm her down. "You didn’t do anything. She's safe now”

-

Once Kara calmed down, Alex went to check Lena. Kara waited impatiently in one of the corridors, trying not to think the worst, trying to think about the words Lena had said before she passed out.

Countless hours passed before Alex met her in the hallway, sitting beside her on the floor.

"She'll be fine."

Kara sighed, relieved, with her eyes closed.

“Thank you, Alex.”

Kara hid her face in her hands, feeling physically and psychologically exhausted.

“You didn't hurt her, Kara. What you saw…” Alex shook her head in frustration. “That monster is going to burn in hell for all this… He hit her, a lot. I never thought he'd get to that level.”

“But will she be all right?”

“Physically? Yes.”

“But?”

“I don't know how she'll react when she wakes up, but it's a very big trauma. She'll need help.”

Kara sighed.

“I wish I could’ve been able to avoid that…”

“Lena needs you now more than ever, Kara. And she needs you to be strong for her… You were not to blame for anything. You won't be able to help her if you don't believe it.”

Kara closed her eyes, nodding.

“Can I see her?”

“She's still sleeping.”

“I don't care, I need to be there for her.”

Alex stood up and smiled weakly.

“Come on, then.”

-

Kara didn't leave Lena's side for anything. Although Alex insisted that Kara stay a little under the sunlamps, she refused, standing next to Lena's bed in the medical bay.

Lena was pale, with several bruises where she had visible skin and where her cotton gown covered her as well. A small bandage on her forehead covered the impact wound on the building, and Kara blamed herself for it, but was relieved that she had done no further damage. When Lena began to move sporadically, Kara was on alert, eager for her to wake up.

Suddenly Lena opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling in panic. She struggled to move, causing her pain and making her grunt.

"Lena?" Kara said, carefully. “Lena, it's me, Kara. Calm down.”

Lena was hyperventilating. Kara got up and moved closer to the bed.

"Lena, look at me." Kara asked, seeking Lena's gaze without getting too close. When Lena looked at Kara and recognized her, she sighed and began to sob. Kara was starting to get worried.

“Lena, it's fine, you're safe.” Kara slowly put her hand on Lena's shoulder, ensuring she wasn't backing down.

“Is it okay if I touch you?”

Lena sought Kara's gaze again, nodding, still desperate. Kara touched her shoulder gently, and Lena felt safe.

"Please hold me." Lena whispered between sobs. Kara sat on the edge of the bed and slowly wrapped Lena in her arms, taking care of her injured body. Lena closed her eyes and collapsed into Kara's arms.

“Forgive me, Kara. Please.”

“Shh… It's all right, Lena.”

“I'm so sorry for everything.”

“It's all right, honey. I don't blame you for anything, you don't have to apologize.”

“I was a terrible friend, Kara. I was a horrible person.” Lena clung even more to Kara's body, which caressed her back gently.

“Hey, none of that.” Kara pulled back a few inches to look into Lena's eyes. “I was a terrible friend too. I should have told the truth a long time ago, but I was selfish, I was afraid you would hate me. I messed up too.”

Lena looked down, unable to look into Kara's blue eyes.

"Lee, please look at me." Kara begged. "You are good. Nothing will change my mind about it. You may have been wrong, but that's normal, it doesn't make you a bad person.” Kara put her hand to Lena's face, wiping the tears off her cheek. “I love you, Lena. And I swear I won't leave you, and I swear we'll both get over it together.”

Lena stared at Kara, with pure admiration in her eyes. She just swallowed, nodding. She trusted Kara, trusted that Kara would keep her promise. Kara kissed Lena's forehead, making her lie down again.

“We have a lot to talk about, but you need to rest…”

“Will you stay?”

Kara smiled.

"I'll be here all the time, I promise."

-

A week had passed and Lena was free to go home from the DEO. After an assessment of Lex's damage and a few days of observation and rest, Lena could finally go home. Despite the feeling of relief at being relatively well, Lena was afraid to return to the emptiness of her apartment. Kara was offering all of her support to Lena who honestly thought she didn't deserve so much kindness. Kara was trying to convince her otherwise.

"I know we haven't talked yet, but I was wondering if you might…" Kara broke off, blushing. "If maybe you wouldn’t want to go to my apartment today… only if you want to, of course. But…" Still red-faced, Kara smiled. "We could have dinner, watch some movies or just talk... spend time together. What do you think?"

Lena smiled, straightening her hair after putting on her coat.

"Sounds like a date…" Lena arched an eyebrow.

"W… do you want it to be one?" Kara asked nervously.

"I would love to." Lena said tenderly.

"Me too." Kara smiled, extending her hand to Lena. "Come on!"

They had dinner, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, Kara sat on the couch and Lena settled beside her, pulling a blanket over both of them. With some random movie playing on TV, Lena enjoyed every second and every detail of that quiet moment with Kara.

"I can't believe I was mad that you didn't tell me…" Lena muttered, seeking Kara's gaze.

"Why?"

"Because it was your secret. It wasn't about me."

"You have every right to be upset about that." 

"You've been the best thing in my life and I almost threw it away." Lena held Kara's hand firmly. "I can't imagine my life without you anymore, Kara."

Kara shifted, facing Lena. "I don't imagine myself far from you, either. I love you."

Lena smiled, teary-eyed. Kara held out her arms. 

"Now come here and give me a hug." As soon as Kara broke into her beaming smile, any sign of sadness on Lena's face was gone, replaced by a light laugh. Lena leaned over, taking the space between Kara's arms, feeling her own heart race. She pulled back a few inches and looked into Kara's blue eyes, realizing that her silent question already had an answer. Kara advanced slowly, capturing Lena's lips, delicately. Lena held Kara's waist, letting herself be wrapped around Kara and her arms. 

Lena shifted, getting over Kara, kissing her neck and caressing her cheek. Kara sighed in ecstasy with her arms around Lena.

"Rao…" Kara said, smiling as Lena straightened, lying on her chest. Any sentence Kara had planned to speak at that moment vanished from her mind to see Lena so happy, in her arms. It didn't take long for Lena to fall asleep right there, but Kara didn't care at all. She kissed Lena's head and closed her eyes, sighing contentedly. It had been difficult weeks, but slowly everything was getting back to normal, to a new normal, where Kara and Lena, together, got over their difficulties.

"El Mayarah." Kara murmured, falling asleep right away, holding Lena in her arms.


End file.
